Okay, here's another blog entry from the lonely girl. Today was okay i supposed. Everybody was still picking on my friend as usual. I'm aware i never mentioned that or the situation before but im not gonna get into it. Yesterday was Saint Patricks Day. I wore all green but i STILL got pinched and stuff by my only friend whos name im not gonna mention. Sometimes she can be annoying. Well, most of the time shes annoying and really weird. I'm starting to wonder why i even hang out with her. She came to me though.
The day before that, some stupid ass boy that i know slammed me against the wall and i almost hurt my knees. It reminded me back when i was in 8th grade of how i was PUSHED down the stairs by some ignorant boy. It really hurted me and it pissed me off because my teacher didnt write him up just because i wasnt injured. I would never live that day down EVER. It scarred me for LIFE.
I was always getting picked on for who knows what reason. I feel so alone inside and that nobody really understands. Only me understands me and thats the only me i even have right now. Or maybe, forever.... I'm tired of being lonely and ignored. I feel like i dont even matter in this world anymore. Maybe i should just be gone or be somebody else. Recarnate myself into someone else so people can get me. I wonder whats the future gonna be like for me.
Maybe i'm just too emo for some people. Everybody always talk about how i always wish death on myself or hurt other people or im too emo and shit. ITS ME. GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!! I just wish things would change back to how they used to BEFORE i turned into this emo depressed lonely girl with shit going on with her life.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Why Can't They Understand? (March 13, 2011)
Okay so its been another 2 days of not updating. Sorry but sometimes i dont wanna do it everyday. Anyways, right now, i'm feeling down and out. Not because im sick which i am but its because people REALLY dont understand me. My friend or 'suppose' friend on Gaia is treating me like shit and saying i only care about myself. Now see, thats the problem right there. I DONT only care about myself. I care about other people too but i always close myself in so it MIGHT seem like i care about only me and me only.
My second problem is that everytime i try to open up, people push me away and yell at me. Its so confusing cause its like, when i close myself in, people complain of how i should open up more and when i do, they yell and act like a bitch to me so its all like: Wtf? Please choose. You always push me away when i open up but when im closed in, you complain. Right now, i'm not sure which side i should be anymore. I dont wanna be someone im not because i've been hiding myself for so long and i wanna open up but people always push me away.
This is why nobody understands me. This WORLD doesnt understand me. It makes me wanna fucking die already. Everybody would be better off if i wasnt around but by then, everybody would miss me im sure of it. So, do whatever. Shoot me down. Stab me. I dont care just stop acting like a fucking bitch to me. I dont deserve it and i dont care of how i push your buttons and piss you off cause you know what? You're making YOURSELF seem like the bad guy.
I always threaten to kill people who hurt me and hold grudges and this is one grudge im holding against most people. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY tired of this! I wanna cry but i cant. Nothing is gonna be solved by this. I really dont wanna deal with this anymore. I REALLY cant take it anymore. I wanna be myself but i cant so i have to 'pretend' and then when i pretend, people still get pissed at me. FUCK THE WORLD. I'm tired of fighting with people about me. If you really hate me that much, then why dont you just take my life? You'll be happier without me anyways.
My second problem is that everytime i try to open up, people push me away and yell at me. Its so confusing cause its like, when i close myself in, people complain of how i should open up more and when i do, they yell and act like a bitch to me so its all like: Wtf? Please choose. You always push me away when i open up but when im closed in, you complain. Right now, i'm not sure which side i should be anymore. I dont wanna be someone im not because i've been hiding myself for so long and i wanna open up but people always push me away.
This is why nobody understands me. This WORLD doesnt understand me. It makes me wanna fucking die already. Everybody would be better off if i wasnt around but by then, everybody would miss me im sure of it. So, do whatever. Shoot me down. Stab me. I dont care just stop acting like a fucking bitch to me. I dont deserve it and i dont care of how i push your buttons and piss you off cause you know what? You're making YOURSELF seem like the bad guy.
I always threaten to kill people who hurt me and hold grudges and this is one grudge im holding against most people. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY tired of this! I wanna cry but i cant. Nothing is gonna be solved by this. I really dont wanna deal with this anymore. I REALLY cant take it anymore. I wanna be myself but i cant so i have to 'pretend' and then when i pretend, people still get pissed at me. FUCK THE WORLD. I'm tired of fighting with people about me. If you really hate me that much, then why dont you just take my life? You'll be happier without me anyways.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Why Can't They Understand? (March 11th, 2011)
I know its been 2 days since i last updated my blog about my life. Right now, i have some things to say. But first, lets talk about what happend today. It was a normal day like any other except that i haven't been feeling good at all today. Why? Its womanly problems of course. No need to explain it or go into detail. Anyways, math was okay as always. I got checked out early though during 4th to go to the doctor about my hair. I'm not gonna go into detail about that either. I've been feeling tired all day today and i want to get a new Diary Of The Wimpy Kid book. I almost got one the last time but mom made me choose between that and a new hoodie jacket so i said: "What the hey?" and got the jacket though it was a tough decision since i LOVE DOTWK.
Anyways, speaking of DOTWK, they're having a new movie of it coming out and i totally want to see it. Also, my best friend has been sick lately and i hope she gets better. My math buddy is starting to get on my nerves though with her thinking she knows all that and stuff. Dont get me wrong, ima still be her friend but ill just like her even less because of that. Even all my classesmates are fed up with her and want to tell her to shut up but i wonder if they'll say it to her face. Probably.
Anyways, if you're wondering about my love life, let me tell you, its still in the singles section. I'm not that good with getting a lot of boyfriends like some of my friends are. Sometimes i want to be as good at getting boyfriends as my friends are but i know the right guy would drop down into my life anytime soon so there is no rush.
There is this guy who is pretty nice. I met him in my friends rp and he's an awsome friend and rper. It'll be nice if we knew each other in RL but of course we dont sadly so this is just an online thing. A long time ago, i swore off ANY online relationships. Why? Because i've been in so many and they all failed! I was sick and tired of it! Which was why i decided to just find a guy who i know in RL but i cant find any. I still dont wanna go back to online dating but my guy friend is so sweet and nice and its kinda getting to me. I dont know what will happen but who knows?
Anyways, speaking of DOTWK, they're having a new movie of it coming out and i totally want to see it. Also, my best friend has been sick lately and i hope she gets better. My math buddy is starting to get on my nerves though with her thinking she knows all that and stuff. Dont get me wrong, ima still be her friend but ill just like her even less because of that. Even all my classesmates are fed up with her and want to tell her to shut up but i wonder if they'll say it to her face. Probably.
Anyways, if you're wondering about my love life, let me tell you, its still in the singles section. I'm not that good with getting a lot of boyfriends like some of my friends are. Sometimes i want to be as good at getting boyfriends as my friends are but i know the right guy would drop down into my life anytime soon so there is no rush.
There is this guy who is pretty nice. I met him in my friends rp and he's an awsome friend and rper. It'll be nice if we knew each other in RL but of course we dont sadly so this is just an online thing. A long time ago, i swore off ANY online relationships. Why? Because i've been in so many and they all failed! I was sick and tired of it! Which was why i decided to just find a guy who i know in RL but i cant find any. I still dont wanna go back to online dating but my guy friend is so sweet and nice and its kinda getting to me. I dont know what will happen but who knows?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Why Can't They Understand? (March 9th,2011)
I guess i can say today was an okay day. Not a great day or a sad day but an okay day. I went to my normal classes and did my usual work and then came Math...It was alright also. We started a new unit today which was pretty easy of course since i still remember how to do it from last semester. I still have a hatred for my co-math teacher though and i have a meeting tomorrow with my two math teachers. I can't wait to hear what they have to say. I swear if my co-math teacher lies about what he had said to me yesterday, i would be so pissed. Luckily, mom is on my side of course and she said she'll do all the talking first before letting them talk next. I also have a lot to say too.
It was also raining and it was pretty fun. I jumped in mud puddles with my math buddy and it was pretty funny. I was soaking wet. My shoes were soaked and so were my socks. I felt the water sploshing around in them and of course everybody thought we was crazy to have done that but of course i kept repeating that it was at least fun. I love the rain. It makes me feel calm and i can spend all day in it.
Last night, i cried again for the 3rd time i believe. I was so frustrated and i tried to convince my mom to let me stay home but she said no. Right now, i feel alright i guess. I'm pretty tired compared to last night where i was emotionally exhausted and just had to go to bed early. I wouldn't say im sad or depressed right now but im not happy either. Actually, i'm never happy.
Anyways, i can't wait till the weekend. I'll be able to relax and do whatever and wont have to worry about math or anything. That is, until monday again. I wish for it to be spring already! I want the warm weather! I want Spring Break to be here! I also wonder how i did on my test that i finished yesterday....
It was also raining and it was pretty fun. I jumped in mud puddles with my math buddy and it was pretty funny. I was soaking wet. My shoes were soaked and so were my socks. I felt the water sploshing around in them and of course everybody thought we was crazy to have done that but of course i kept repeating that it was at least fun. I love the rain. It makes me feel calm and i can spend all day in it.
Last night, i cried again for the 3rd time i believe. I was so frustrated and i tried to convince my mom to let me stay home but she said no. Right now, i feel alright i guess. I'm pretty tired compared to last night where i was emotionally exhausted and just had to go to bed early. I wouldn't say im sad or depressed right now but im not happy either. Actually, i'm never happy.
Anyways, i can't wait till the weekend. I'll be able to relax and do whatever and wont have to worry about math or anything. That is, until monday again. I wish for it to be spring already! I want the warm weather! I want Spring Break to be here! I also wonder how i did on my test that i finished yesterday....
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Why Can't They Understand? (March 8th,2011)
Today was like any other day. I got up, went to school, and did my work. I saw my friends. And i thought everything was gonna be good but that was until i got my math test today. We went over it in the beginning of class and i thought i would get a good grade on it. I still hope i did. There were some problems on there that still troubles me and its frustrating how the teachers think you know everything in a quick second. Of course when i got home, i explained what happen today with my mom and she said everybody learns at different speeds but ill explain that a little more later.
Okay so, i was taking my test right? And i thought that the first few problems on the front were pretty easy but then when i got to the back, i completely froze at the last few questions at the bottom. I was completely lost and just staring out at space. Now, i was gonna continue to finish it in my 4th period with the help of my teacher and i did but when the lunch bell rung, my co-math teacher came up to me and started jumping at me at how i was just staring off in space and doing nothing. I told him i wanted to finish it later and to get help and he told me that just this once, he'll let me finish it in 4th period but then he started asking all these crazy questions like: "What don't you get?" Or, "Have you been asking everybody else in the class?" I told him that i DO ask for help and i DO ask my primary teacher but then he was all like: "You ask everybody else but not me." And that kinda pissed me off cause i was thinking like: "Are you jealous that i ask everybody else and not you? Maybe i WANT to ask other people and not you." Though, i thought about it of course.
So, anyways, i was nearly into tears because he was jumping on me like some sleazy piece of meat and i left that class for lunch in tears. My primary teacher saw me crying and told me to calm down and stuff and enjoy lunch and so i did, partly. I burst into another set of tears infront of my friends and my math buddy conforted me of course. After lunch, i stayed with my friend outside by our class door so i can cool off. It was pretty embaressing to me to be crying like a baby infront of everybody but i was so frustrated that i couldnt take it anymore.
Right now, im totally pissed at the whole situation. While everybody else is trying to help me and bring my grade up, my co-math teacher is trying to help me AND trying to bring my self esteem and confindence down. I REALLY hate him. He said that i do NOTHING in class which isnt true. I ask for help. I do my work. But, NO he HAS to act like a completely asshole and bring my confindence down. I really wanted to die right at that moment. I don't know how i can survive for the rest of the school year.
Luckily, i got help of course and was able to finish my test in 4th period but the bad part is that i didnt get the chance to even continue to finish my biology homework thats due tomorrow. Oh well.
When i got home, i explained to mom what happen of course and like i said before, kids learn at different speeds so my teachers shouldnt assume that i know everything just like that and it is frustrating. She keeps saying i have a meeting this week and i can't wait to hear what my math teachers say. It makes me wanna cuss out my co-math teacher for him bringing me down while everybody else is trying to help. I also dont want tutoring because it NEVER helps. I went to tutoring after school before and it never worked. It had too many people in it of course and they couldn't get to me that well so i HOPE i dont have it. Remember what i said before that im glad that my mom is here to help me? Well, im REALLY glad she is. Everybody else doesnt seem to understand or always tries to bring me down when im already a sad person at heart and mind. Lets see how tomorrow goes....
Okay so, i was taking my test right? And i thought that the first few problems on the front were pretty easy but then when i got to the back, i completely froze at the last few questions at the bottom. I was completely lost and just staring out at space. Now, i was gonna continue to finish it in my 4th period with the help of my teacher and i did but when the lunch bell rung, my co-math teacher came up to me and started jumping at me at how i was just staring off in space and doing nothing. I told him i wanted to finish it later and to get help and he told me that just this once, he'll let me finish it in 4th period but then he started asking all these crazy questions like: "What don't you get?" Or, "Have you been asking everybody else in the class?" I told him that i DO ask for help and i DO ask my primary teacher but then he was all like: "You ask everybody else but not me." And that kinda pissed me off cause i was thinking like: "Are you jealous that i ask everybody else and not you? Maybe i WANT to ask other people and not you." Though, i thought about it of course.
So, anyways, i was nearly into tears because he was jumping on me like some sleazy piece of meat and i left that class for lunch in tears. My primary teacher saw me crying and told me to calm down and stuff and enjoy lunch and so i did, partly. I burst into another set of tears infront of my friends and my math buddy conforted me of course. After lunch, i stayed with my friend outside by our class door so i can cool off. It was pretty embaressing to me to be crying like a baby infront of everybody but i was so frustrated that i couldnt take it anymore.
Right now, im totally pissed at the whole situation. While everybody else is trying to help me and bring my grade up, my co-math teacher is trying to help me AND trying to bring my self esteem and confindence down. I REALLY hate him. He said that i do NOTHING in class which isnt true. I ask for help. I do my work. But, NO he HAS to act like a completely asshole and bring my confindence down. I really wanted to die right at that moment. I don't know how i can survive for the rest of the school year.
Luckily, i got help of course and was able to finish my test in 4th period but the bad part is that i didnt get the chance to even continue to finish my biology homework thats due tomorrow. Oh well.
When i got home, i explained to mom what happen of course and like i said before, kids learn at different speeds so my teachers shouldnt assume that i know everything just like that and it is frustrating. She keeps saying i have a meeting this week and i can't wait to hear what my math teachers say. It makes me wanna cuss out my co-math teacher for him bringing me down while everybody else is trying to help. I also dont want tutoring because it NEVER helps. I went to tutoring after school before and it never worked. It had too many people in it of course and they couldn't get to me that well so i HOPE i dont have it. Remember what i said before that im glad that my mom is here to help me? Well, im REALLY glad she is. Everybody else doesnt seem to understand or always tries to bring me down when im already a sad person at heart and mind. Lets see how tomorrow goes....
Monday, March 7, 2011
Why Can't They Understand? (March 7th,2011)
There's not much to say about how depressing my life feels. I wake up, i go to school, i have 'suppose' friends but inside, i'm still sad. Even with all the laughing and talking and smiling i do, deep down, i still feel very depressed. I deeply hate myself for many things. One: My Anger issues. I can't control them. Its like a disorder that comes out to ruin my life. I get mad easily and i don't like it. Sometimes i wish i can dorment it. Just yesterday or so, this girl pissed me off. Shes my friends girlfriend and i don't want to complain to my friend because shes my friend and i know she wouldn't like it if i complain about how her girlfriend is a mean b*tch. I also hold grudges against the people who hurt me. If they try to pick a fight with me or say the wrong thing with an attitude, i would get so pissed that i would feel like cussing them out and slitting their throats.
A long time ago last year, my anger problems were way more worse then they are now. I used to get mad at my friends all the time and they would get annoyed with me. This one girl was so annoying. We was friends but..she always blammed me for stuff. I hate it when people accuse me of stuff i didn't do. The worst part is, we had this hacker that came into me and my friends chatroom. We thought we got rid of him but he said he was 'keylogging' into one of us. Now, i didn't know what exactly keylogging was until it happen to me...
I was taking a nap one day after i told everybody i was getting off for a little break. BIG MISTAKE. When i came back on and logged into the chat, there was someone who was posing as me and cussing at my friends. Now, that REALLY scared me and pissed me off because i didn't know HOW that person even knew my information. He knew EVERYTHING that was going on with me and when i logged on, he saw it was me and quickly logged out. I noticed it but my friends were too blind with anger to have seen it so they quickly attacked me. I tried reasoning with them that it wasn't me but since i always got angry at them in the past, they didn't believe me of course so i lost them. One by one, each of my friends left the chat. The owner of this rp thread i was in, banned me from her rp. I had nobody. The only person who still believed in me and who stood by me was my best friend Allie. She said that it wasn't gonna be fun anymore in the rp if i was gone so, she quit.
Later on, the same girl who banned me from her rp, accused me of convincing Allie to QUIT the rp. I kept telling her that SHE quit on her own but she didn't believe me. I felt so lost and helpless that i just couldn't help but cry to my mom about it. I never really told my mom about what's been going on in my Gaia life until then. I felt like the only person i can talk to is her. Mom made me feel better afterwards but i was still lost.
The next day, i was moving. It was terrible to have to deal with all this mess JUST when i was about to move. So,i packed up my things and moved into my new house. Sadly, we had to wait for a WHOLE week to get internet and tv so that really stunk and by the time we got it, i hopped on Gaia and said a welcome back hello to everybody. I even asked my friend who was in the rp with me before about how everything was going and if the girl was still mad at me or whatever. Sad thing, she was. The other time it pissed me off when her and her friend tried pretending to be someone else and when they revealed themselves, i was shocked. THEY was the ones that kept messing with me. I felt like this nightmare wouldn't stop coming. It was like EVERYTHING bad that was happening kept coming back to me to haunt me. I was so depressed.
2 months ago, i got most of my friends back whom i lost a year ago. I was happy and everything was good but i still feel a bit depressed and sad from time to time. My anger issues still haunt me to this day and would NEVER stop until i do something about it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE Gaia and everybody whos in it but sometimes i wish that all the pain would stop. I thought that if i quit, it would but i just can't do it. I can't leave all my friends behind and all the rps i've been in. Its just too hard. I miss the old days back in 07 and 08 where i was happy, i had awsome friends, i hardly EVER got on the comp but when i did, it was either ClubPenguin or Allykatz. My life started going down hill as SOON as i entered High School.
Now high school, i hated it. Last semester, i was stressed and depressed. I was failing classes and i couldn't even get a STUPID math credit! I HATE math with a passion! WHY do we even need it!?? All we need to keep is money! Everything else like Algerbra and slopes and all that shit we don't need. This brings me back to my current math teacher.
She AND her co-helper said stuff so mean that it nearly made me cry at the end of 3rd period and by 4th period, i broke down in tears. I felt so sad and i kept blaming math for my problems. I just can't get it. Luckily, my best friend Chris conforted me. He's such a nice guy but can be an ass at times. I really needed a hug at the time and he was the only one there for me.
I'm a writer, i'm a song-writer,i'm someone whos depressed about life. No, i don't cut or burn myself, i just vent my feelings out to my closest friends or mom if i need to. I'm so glad i have my mom to be there for me and understand me. I don't know what i would do without her. Sometimes, she doesn't understand most stuff like my depression and stressful self but thats okay i guess. Sooner or later, people would cry and miss me when i actually die. I've been thinking about committing suicide MANY MANY times but never did it. I dreamed of getting hit by a car or falling off a building.
Sometimes,i'm an attention whore. I WANT attention from people. I WANT people to listen to my problems and understand me but no matter how much i try to get them to listen, they just give me lame advice or just say they can't help me with my problems. So i say, "Screw them.".
There's some people out there that i want to hurt. Most of them are on Gaia of course but i know i can't do anything about it. I can't ban them if they didn't really break any rules whatsoever. Thats the bad part i hate. I wish for a little more confort though like a boyfriend. Someone who would love me and understand me. Friends are okay but boyfriends are better. I have so many grudges on people that its crazy. I currently have one bit of an anger for someone who im rping with. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy but can sometimes be an ass and i just want to knock him out.
I am also mean to people all the time. I slam doors in their faces and insult them but i find confort in hurting other innocent people because im hurting inside. I know its wrong to treat friends or people like that but, its how i feel and its how i'll deal.
A long time ago last year, my anger problems were way more worse then they are now. I used to get mad at my friends all the time and they would get annoyed with me. This one girl was so annoying. We was friends but..she always blammed me for stuff. I hate it when people accuse me of stuff i didn't do. The worst part is, we had this hacker that came into me and my friends chatroom. We thought we got rid of him but he said he was 'keylogging' into one of us. Now, i didn't know what exactly keylogging was until it happen to me...
I was taking a nap one day after i told everybody i was getting off for a little break. BIG MISTAKE. When i came back on and logged into the chat, there was someone who was posing as me and cussing at my friends. Now, that REALLY scared me and pissed me off because i didn't know HOW that person even knew my information. He knew EVERYTHING that was going on with me and when i logged on, he saw it was me and quickly logged out. I noticed it but my friends were too blind with anger to have seen it so they quickly attacked me. I tried reasoning with them that it wasn't me but since i always got angry at them in the past, they didn't believe me of course so i lost them. One by one, each of my friends left the chat. The owner of this rp thread i was in, banned me from her rp. I had nobody. The only person who still believed in me and who stood by me was my best friend Allie. She said that it wasn't gonna be fun anymore in the rp if i was gone so, she quit.
Later on, the same girl who banned me from her rp, accused me of convincing Allie to QUIT the rp. I kept telling her that SHE quit on her own but she didn't believe me. I felt so lost and helpless that i just couldn't help but cry to my mom about it. I never really told my mom about what's been going on in my Gaia life until then. I felt like the only person i can talk to is her. Mom made me feel better afterwards but i was still lost.
The next day, i was moving. It was terrible to have to deal with all this mess JUST when i was about to move. So,i packed up my things and moved into my new house. Sadly, we had to wait for a WHOLE week to get internet and tv so that really stunk and by the time we got it, i hopped on Gaia and said a welcome back hello to everybody. I even asked my friend who was in the rp with me before about how everything was going and if the girl was still mad at me or whatever. Sad thing, she was. The other time it pissed me off when her and her friend tried pretending to be someone else and when they revealed themselves, i was shocked. THEY was the ones that kept messing with me. I felt like this nightmare wouldn't stop coming. It was like EVERYTHING bad that was happening kept coming back to me to haunt me. I was so depressed.
2 months ago, i got most of my friends back whom i lost a year ago. I was happy and everything was good but i still feel a bit depressed and sad from time to time. My anger issues still haunt me to this day and would NEVER stop until i do something about it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE Gaia and everybody whos in it but sometimes i wish that all the pain would stop. I thought that if i quit, it would but i just can't do it. I can't leave all my friends behind and all the rps i've been in. Its just too hard. I miss the old days back in 07 and 08 where i was happy, i had awsome friends, i hardly EVER got on the comp but when i did, it was either ClubPenguin or Allykatz. My life started going down hill as SOON as i entered High School.
Now high school, i hated it. Last semester, i was stressed and depressed. I was failing classes and i couldn't even get a STUPID math credit! I HATE math with a passion! WHY do we even need it!?? All we need to keep is money! Everything else like Algerbra and slopes and all that shit we don't need. This brings me back to my current math teacher.
She AND her co-helper said stuff so mean that it nearly made me cry at the end of 3rd period and by 4th period, i broke down in tears. I felt so sad and i kept blaming math for my problems. I just can't get it. Luckily, my best friend Chris conforted me. He's such a nice guy but can be an ass at times. I really needed a hug at the time and he was the only one there for me.
I'm a writer, i'm a song-writer,i'm someone whos depressed about life. No, i don't cut or burn myself, i just vent my feelings out to my closest friends or mom if i need to. I'm so glad i have my mom to be there for me and understand me. I don't know what i would do without her. Sometimes, she doesn't understand most stuff like my depression and stressful self but thats okay i guess. Sooner or later, people would cry and miss me when i actually die. I've been thinking about committing suicide MANY MANY times but never did it. I dreamed of getting hit by a car or falling off a building.
Sometimes,i'm an attention whore. I WANT attention from people. I WANT people to listen to my problems and understand me but no matter how much i try to get them to listen, they just give me lame advice or just say they can't help me with my problems. So i say, "Screw them.".
There's some people out there that i want to hurt. Most of them are on Gaia of course but i know i can't do anything about it. I can't ban them if they didn't really break any rules whatsoever. Thats the bad part i hate. I wish for a little more confort though like a boyfriend. Someone who would love me and understand me. Friends are okay but boyfriends are better. I have so many grudges on people that its crazy. I currently have one bit of an anger for someone who im rping with. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy but can sometimes be an ass and i just want to knock him out.
I am also mean to people all the time. I slam doors in their faces and insult them but i find confort in hurting other innocent people because im hurting inside. I know its wrong to treat friends or people like that but, its how i feel and its how i'll deal.
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